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Sat, Jan. 28th, 2006, 07:04 am

For some reason, I can only get on to the "My LJ" page. I can't see my friends page, my joural, search, or anything else. I can't even respond to comments on my own journal. The internet screen comes up with one of those "page cannot be displayed" things. I hate that.

J felt so cold last night. And the night before (though he was sick, so I can't say much about that).

But he normally likes to cuddle but he felt a little distant. He cuddled a bit last night, and later in the evening he was playing with my hair like he normally does, but something was up. Normally when I gave him a kiss, he would respond, but he didn't. Maybe it's just in my head...I seem to be oversensitive and negative lately.

I've been kind of weird in the last while, moody, almost bipolar. Maybe he's just sick of it. Maybe I've pushed him too far. He's so patient, I've always wondered about the day when he'd have had it with me. I know his mom was in a really bad mood, and that usually puts him in a bad mood too, but I don't think that was it. I don't know, maybe it was.

I feel like a monster. I don't know who I am anymore. I can't control myself. I am totally unmotivated. I have so much homework to do and three tests next week. I have to work 8am to 7pm today and my tummy hurts. I have sores in my nose and sores in my mouth. I feel miserable.